Do I need a photographer for my proposal?
This moment is about you, your partner, and your love for each other. Don’t let societal expectations (or a random blog post) dictate what your proposal should look like. Is your partner a “pics or it didn’t happen” type of person? Are they mortally terrified of a camera? Are pictures a treasured archive to you, or socially mandated surveillance? I can’t answer those questions, which isn’t the answer you’re looking for, but there are a lot of factors that can go into this decision (which is probably why you asked this in the first place!) so let me break down some options for you:
OPTION 1: Document it yourself.
This option is probably going to take the most effort and creativity on your part. If you regularly take pictures and videos with your partner, this might be a natural way to capture the moment. Set up a video or a timer, take some photos, and get down to it with your surprise moment! Disguise it as a fit check, pretend you want to photograph a cool bug on the ground, get really into making timelapses leading up to your proposal - whatever makes sense to you and your partner to have a camera out without raising suspicions. This option is totally valid!
With this, there’s no one to coordinate with, its just the two of you in that moment. It’s budget friendly as you are doing the work yourself, and you have total control of the outcome. It potentially could feel very natural for your proposal. On the other hand, it can add an additional layer of stress and one more thing to remember while you’re already a bit nervous. If taking pictures with your partner is second nature I say go for it! But, if the idea of it is making you sweat already, keep reading for some other options.
OPTION 2: Ask a friend.
Some of my friends are GREAT with a camera, especially a candid moment. They’re also down to do it for free, just to get to be in that moment! If you’ve got a trusted human with a camera and an eye, this may be the way to go for you. You have a built in co-conspirator to bounce things off of.
Downsides to consider would be if this is a stressful ask for your friend (are you okay with them missing the moment?), if seeing them would ruin the surprise (“What’s Emily doing here?”), and if you want just pure documentation, or if you want some artistic formal shots as well.
No wrong answers here (at least not on my end) just things to consider when choosing what feels best to you.
OPTION 3: Hire a Professional
There are some definite benefits to hiring a proposal photographer, especially if your partner is all about both authenticity and those picture perfect moments. A professional is going to bring the experience needed to help this day go smoothly while taking off some of that day-of stress.
Stealth - they know how to be low-key
They’re going to know not to text “where are you??” on your drive (many a proposal has been ruined by texts popping up on the car dashboard), and have the equipment to be non-obtrusive - (catch me yards away behind a tree photographing birds with a giant zoom lens while I wait for you to show up).
Planning - they’ll just help make it easier
They’ll scope out the area to help you find the best lighting, find the best photo vantage point, coach you on where to stand, and when ultimately something does not go according to plan - they’ll be down to improvise and have a back up to get things back on track!
Directing- this alone is worth the cost of a proposal photographer!
And lastly, they’ll know how to make you and your partner feel natural and comfortable for those perfect photos - the difference in your smile between “uh.. say cheese!” and “lean in close and seductively whisper your favorite breakfast cereal in their ear” is astounding! Pictures are only helpful if the memories the evoke are actually comfortable, joyful moments. Cameras can be awkward if they’re not a part of your routine, a good photographer is going to be able to help you have fun, or forget it’s even there.
OPTION 4: Don’t Document it at all
While potentially controversial - especially as a professional photographer - this is a totally valid option. We have gotten into the groove as a society of documenting and publicly sharing every moment of our lives, and I have seen so many gorgeous proposals online that I can see why we might think it’s mandatory. If this is a moment you want for just the two of you, don’t feel pressured to share it just because you feel like you should.
OPTION 5: Fake it (or just do an engagement shoot)
Ironically one of my favorite options and one my partner and I may select for ourselves. My partner really wants the moment JUST to be us. The idea of coordinating with a photographer, a friend, or worst of all trying to set up pictures himself really stresses him out - which is not the feeling I want surrounding this moment, but, I also really want beautiful pictures to post on my socials and share with my loved ones who weren’t there. So, what’s the move?
Well, an engagement shoot after the fact of course! As a photographer, I love photographs (shocking I know). I want that moment documented, I want to stare and reflect and relive the memory. I want to make art about how in love I am and share it far and wide, but what I want most of all is to live my life and be truly in the moment. Recent studies out of Binghamton University have shown that the act of taking photos may actually impair our memory making rather than aid in it. Choosing to do an engagement shoot after the fact or recreating your proposal means you get to have your private moment, you get a reason to go on another date all dressed up, and one more reason to relive that happy memory again (just in front of a camera this time).
Think of it as extending the joy, AND having the opportunity to get the shot REALLY perfect - perfect outfits, nails done, lighting just right, ALL the angles, etc. Plus, because it’s not a surprise, your partner gets to give a bunch of input as well. You can also do both - I love an engagement shoot - it can be a great bit of quality time with your partner, no phones, no distractions, just playful prompts and being in love.
OPTION 6: Any other option in the world.
Like I said at the start, don’t let societal expectations (or a random blog post) dictate what your proposal should look like. You may have had an answer you were hoping to read when you clicked this post, and my advice is to trust your gut. You know yourself and your partner better than anyone. If you’re waiting for permission to do it your way - you’ve got it. I believe in you! Now rock this proposal! :)
Want help talking through the options? I’m always down to yap.
TLDR: Do I need to hire a proposal photographer?
Maybe not, but if having pictures of this moment is important to you and/or your partner, the cost of hiring a professional proposal photographer might be totally worth it to make the day a little smoother.